The Mindset Shift – Why I’m Not Giving My Book to You For Free

Having just released my new book, The Mindset Shift – From Employee to Home Business Entrepreneur, I’ve had the usual round of emails from people I’ve never heard from before, asking for a free copy. I’m not surprised, it happens each time a new one comes out, and over time I’ve got better at politely declining!

The Mindset Shift

I decline for two reasons.

  1. What many people don’t realise is that just because you are the author, doesn’t mean you don’t have to pay for your own copies. When you are self-published, as I am, you have to pay for each copy just like anyone else, so unless I choose to make you a gift, why should I pay for your copy just because you’ve asked me to? I do give away copies, but only to people I know and feel will benefit from them.
  2. The second, more important reason that I decline, is because If you’re asking me for a free copy of The Mindset Shift, I suspect you won’t read it anyway.

Why do I think that?

I’ve been working in the self-help or personal development world for quite a few years now, The Mindset Shift is actually the 6th book I’ve published and experience has shown me time and time again that the majority of people, attach a lot less value to something they get for free than they would for something they pay for. Whether it be a coaching session, a break through programme or a book like The Self Help Bible or The Mindset Shift. If they have to pay for it, they pay more attention to it to!

It’s partly to do with our association with money. Most people have a fear deep down that there isn’t enough money to go around. Let’s face it, most of us have known a time when there wasn’t as much as we’d have liked and it’s not a nice feeling. Even if you are comparatively well off, if you’d like to have more, you experience the same feeling of lack.

It is of course a lie. There is more than enough to go round, it just isn’t evenly distributed and whilst some have billions in their back accounts, others starve to death.

It’s been said that there is enough currency in circulation for every person on earth to have a million! If you’re reading this and you have mine, could I have it back now please?

So we fear that if we part with too much, we won’t have enough and therefore we value something we pay money for more than we do something we get for free.

Also, if something is given away for free, it and its creator are immediately devalued in the eyes of the receiver. ‘If it’s that good, why is she giving it away for nothing?’

We all love the feeling of getting something for free, we feel like we’ve cheated and beaten the system a bit don’t we. But often deeper feelings of guilt will be associated too, and guilt is never a healthy emotion. Other times the fact we’ve got it for nothing is enough to satisfy our urge. Like the cat that kills the bird but never eats it. The thrill is in the chase.

The more you value something, the more you will take care of it and the more you will get out of it.

Think about the free papers given away in the cities now. You see hundreds of them left on trains, tubes and cafe seats. Do you see many glossy magazines lying amongst them? No! because people have to pay for them! Bet you don’t see The Mindset Shift there either lol!

So why do I care if you value my books?

Well, I chose to write The Mindset Shift, as I do all my books because I hope that it will help you to improve your life in some way. That is my intent.

Self-help, not shelf-help!

All my books to date are about personal development, designed to get you thinking and moving but they only work if you read them and follow the exercises. If you get a free copy, its far more likely that you’ll stick it on your shelf and never get around to reading it and if you don’t read it, you won’t make those all important changes will you! In which case I’ll have wasted my time writing it in the first place! It’s like putting up with a headache whilst having a packet of pills in the cupboard!

I will always do what I can to help someone who needs my help, but I have learnt that no matter how badly I consider someone needs my help and how much I know the techniques I use could help them, if they aren’t in the right mindset to proactively seek my help, it won’t work. They need to make the mindset shift in the first place.

Change can only take place in a willing mind.

Like a seed needs fertile soil to grow, new thoughts and habits will flourish best in a mind that is open and receptive.

So if you do ask me for a free copy of The Mindset Shift, expect me to politely decline with your best intentions at heart!

Have you ever had something valuable for free that you never used? If so please do share your story below!  And if you’d like to go and buy a copy of my latest book, The Mindset Shift – co-authored by Chris and Susan Beesley please visit our page where you can view all the ways to buy The Mindset Shift at your leisure ;-)

 

Louise Hay – Review of You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay

I’ve just finished reading You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay, so I thought for my blog today, I’d post a quick review.

The product description says

You Can Heal Your Life
This New York Times Bestseller has sold over 30 million copies worldwide. Louise’s key message in this powerful work is: “If we are willing to do the mental work, almost anything can be healed.” Louise explains how limiting beliefs and ideas are often the cause of illness, and how you can change your thinking…and improve the quality of your life! Packed with powerful information—you’ll love this gem of a book!

This is the first Louise Hay book I’ve read and I’d be lying if I said I’d enjoyed it 100% – and that’s great!

The reason that Louise Hay’s famous book wasn’t a purely pleasurable read, is because it is insightful.

Any book that claims to help you with your self development that doesn’t challenge your thinking, make you feel uncomfortable or lead to an a-ha moment, isn’t worth the read in my opinion.

Louise Hay’s book made me nod a lot, shake my head at certain points when I recognised negative patterns in myself and even made me cry. I felt touched and that to me is a good book!

You Can Heal Your Life is basically a book, in which the author, Louise Hay guides you through a process culminating in a long list of ailments which although physical in nature, originate in Louise Hay’s opinion in emotional realms. About the Mind Body Connection.

I must admit, I peeked at the list before reading the rest of the book (I always read magazines from end to start! unless there’s an article I’ve contributed to being featured in which case I start there – wouldn’t you?!) and looked up things which are relevant to me, and in every single case, if I am being honest, I could see that they might be applicable to me. Some made me feel cross (always a good sign!) some made me feel sad, others made me feel guilty. The key thing is that in each case I FELT a reaction. To me, being a very kinaesthetic person, feeling any adverse reaction is a good thing!

Far from leaving you high and dry, Louise Hay also teaches you a system using affirmations to help combat those inner thought patterns which manifest themselves into physical ailments or dis-eases, and for each physical problem she lists, she gives you both a suggested cause and an affirmation to use to combat it.

If you are not familiar with the use of affirmations, there is enough in the book to help you understand why they can be so effective if used consistently and Louise Hay uses some short anecdotes both from her own life and from the thousands of people she has helped to demonstrate their effectiveness.

Louise Hay - You Can Heal Your Life

Having read through once,I am going to go back over it and look at the passages I highlighted (there were lots of those!) and the exercises, to make sure I haven’t missed any golden nuggets and then I intend to implement what I’ve learnt – be a bit pointless otherwise! I’m also going to order a couple of copies for some special ladies in my life that I feel might benefit from it’s teachings too.

Louise Hay’s approach won’t be for everyone. If you want an answer that puts the locus of responsibility and control outside of you, this book isn’t for you.

If you want someone that’s going to pat you on the head and say

“There there, poor you!”

Louise Hay isn’t going to do that either.

BUT

If you want someone to say,

“That pain you get, you know the one, have you thought it might be caused by something like this and if you tried this for a few weeks it might well improve”

Then Louise Hay may well have a solution for you to try! Surely it has to be worth a shot doesn’t it?

What are you waiting for?

Don’t take my word for it. Go and get yourself a copy of You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay today. Click on the picture below to go straight to Amazon and get your copy right now.

 

When you’ve read it, I’d love to hear what you thought and if the things Louise Hay said made sense to you too, so please leave me a comment in the box below.

And while you’re waiting for your copy to come, why not check out the Louise Hay Movie?…

Have a Great Day. How to Make Sure You Have a Great Day Everyday.

Why do we say Have a Great Day?Have a GREAT day!

Have a great day” – once an ‘americanism’ now seems to be a phrase you hear quite commonly doesn’t it. Its a polite way to end an encounter and leaves you with a smile, but before it becomes an automatic response, I have a challenge for you.

Do you like challenges? If so, read on…

You see its my belief that if you have a great day, it’s because you have (albeit perhaps unconsciously) created one, not because some random hand of fate leaned down from on high and said ‘Oh, let’s pick her to have a great day today’, or ‘Let’s cut him some slack today!’
If you have a great day it’s because you have thought the thoughts and created the reality which adds up in the moment to you having a great day!!

Sound like BS or new age clap trap? Well, how about thinking of it this way…

Your mind is busy 24/7 noticing the things around you that fit with your mindset. The things that don’t match your beliefs, interests, experiences to date etc are discarded before you even become aware of them.

The bits that are kept are what you use to create your perspective and your reality, they govern your emotions, your feelings, your behaviour and your physiology.

Therefore, you get pretty much what you expect because that’s what you notice.

If you think you are going to have a great day, there is a much higher probability that you will have a great day!!

Now there will be times that it doesn’t work out quite like you expect – or more accurately put – like you think you expect.

Here’s the really interesting part…

You might think you’re going to have a great day CONSCIOUSLY, you may even take steps to ensure you have a great day, but if the powerhouse of your mind, the unconscious part, believes you are not going to have a great day, guess what…You won’t have a great day!
How can you when that unconscious part will give you the ingredients from which to cook up your day?

So, as with so many things in our lives, a lot of it depends on getting alignment between the conscious and unconscious parts of your mind.

Think of it like an army. If the conscious mind, the officers, think they are going to win the war but the soldiers they rely on to do the fighting don’t, they are unlikely to win aren’t they. If the fighters feel like they are defeated before they have begun, actual defeat is the probable outcome.

It’s the same in your mind. You need the whole of your mind to be fighting for the same thing in order to get success. If you want to have a great day, you need to believe you are going to have a great day at both a conscious and an unconscious level.

One of the unconscious filters used by your mind to determine what to keep and what to ignore, is your language. Some words are much more powerful than others; more positively constructive.

For example, whenever you say you will try to do something, what are you actually saying?

You are not saying that you will do it. You are implying that you may attempt it, but that is quite different. The verb, the action, is only to try, not to do. You are leaving a whole row of doors open for things like fear, laziness and procrastination to come in by. Acres of space for doubt and excuses to fester and grow and you are expressing doubt at the crucial unconscious level. That one little three letter word decreases your chances of success enormously.

Don’t have a great day!

Similarly when you say “Have a great day” what you are inadvertently saying, is that whether you do have a great day, or do not have a great day is down to someone or something else.

You are placing the locus of control and responsibility outside of yourself and in doing so you are disempowering yourself.

Taking responsibility for all that happens in your life is one of the first steps to emotional freedom and ultimately, success.

One of the ways you can help this process is to be mindful and deliberate with your language

So, what can you say instead of “Have a great day” that will still impart the same sense politeness and caring as “Have a great day” but without removing the REAL power from the phrase? An active command rather than a passive one?

  • How about “Make a great day”?

Personally I think this sounds a bit unnatural – it doesn’t feel comfortable for me, although I do deliberately say this to my children sometimes when I feel it’s appropriate. It’s a good unconscious reminder to them that their attitude is largely responsible for their experience.

  • “Do a great day”?

That’s not quite right for me either, but if they work for you then that’s perfect. As with many things, it’s what’s right for you that counts.

My favourite alternative to “Have a great day” is

  • “Enjoy your day”.

As well as being an active phrase, keeping the control with the individual , enjoyment is also a pleasant, feel good emotion. It’s an unequivocally good thing.

If enjoyment is not an appropriate suggestion, say for example someone is facing a day they know is going to be difficult or unpleasant, I’d probably choose something like,

  • “I hope your day is a good as it possibly can be”

You get the idea!

Have a GREAT day!

How this will help you have a great day too.

As well as being kind and pleasant to wish someone else, there is an added benefit to you in choosing language like this.

Super TIP! For more about your amazing unconscious mind and how to improve your results by improving your communication, check out Volume 3 of The Self Help Bible

Your unconscious mind does not differentiate between the things you say to/about yourself and the things you say to/about someone else. So every time you use your new alternative to ‘have a great day’ it’s as though you are blowing yourself a little kiss :-) like an immediate reward for you good wishes, instant good karma!

 

The tiniest of changes in your language can be the catalyst for huge changes in your life, so why not give a little bit more thought to the words you bandy around this week?

Notice the phrases you use often and think about whether there is a more beneficial or empowering way to say the same thing? It only takes a few days to embed a new habit that will last until you decide to change it.

Do you have a favourite alternative to Have a Great Day? If so, I’d love to know what it is. Please leave me a message in the comments below and enjoy the rest of your day :-)

 

The Mind Body Connection

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The Mind Body Connection is Real.

The mind body connection

Man has always tried to find empirical evidence to support his latest hypothesis, which have been taken as gospel until the next theory developed enough to disprove the last one. It’s interesting that we rely so much on scientific proof these days, when you think how we survived without it for so many centuries.

Two articles have caught my eye in the past couple of weeks which offer some scientific proof of something many of us accept to be true, the fact that our mind and body are connected and affect each other. What we often refer to as the ‘Mind Body Connection‘, so I thought I’d share them with you here.

The first was a report on a recent experiment which measured the pain signals received by the brain in different circumstances.

The Mind Boy Connection

The first group of people were not allowed to touch themselves when they had a pain.

The second group were encouraged to hold or grip the site.

Rub it better!

The results clearly showed a reduction in pain when people touched themselves. A great indicator of the mind body connection, the power of a healing or loving touch, one of course all parents and carers are already familiar with.

The second article again involved two groups of people. One group exercised every day over a given period, the second group just imagined themselves exercising.

At the end of the experiment, the group who had actually carried out the physical exercise had a 28% increase in muscle tone but the other group had an astonishing 24% increase through the power of thought alone.

Get Your Mind Body Connection Working Better

As well as offering yet more proof of the validity of the mind body connection, this also confirms a belief I have long held.

You can become anyone and achieve anything if you just put your mind to it.

If you can see it in your mind, if you can imagine it, you can become or have it. Great news for all of us who haven’t yet achieved all we want to!

If you’d like to learn more about the mind body connection and get some tips on how to change your mind and get it to work better for you, why not get a copy of my book How to Change the Life You Have for the Life You Want?

You can get it on Amazon and it comes in Kindle or paperback format. Follow the simple exercises in it and you could soon be feeling much better :-)

 

 

Images courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How to Eat an Elephant

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How to Eat an Elephant

Eating an elephant at all might seem like an odd goal in life and yet learning how to eat an elephant is actually a very useful life skill!

If you haven’t heard how to eat an elephant,  then I have a story to share with you that will explain how easy it is to eat an elephant and hopefully prove that I am not completely la-la! This is actually an extract from my second book How to Change the Life You Have for the Life You Want and I’m sharing it here for Marc, who recently shared how he came upon the idea of how to eat an elephant.

How to Eat an Elephant

How to eat an elephant

I have a favourite story, told to me by a friend’s brother a long time ago. It’s about a young lion who was approaching adulthood and as a rite of passage, was expected to hunt, kill and eat an elephant.

He was by nature a confident creature and knew that he could hunt and kill his target without too much problem. He was however worried that he wouldn’t be able to eat a whole elephant and would therefore look silly in front of his friends and bring shame upon his pride.

As he was destined to become the leader of the pride eventually, it was particularly important to him that he should succeed.

A little mouse who lived nearby, came upon the lion pacing and could see from his furrowed brow and shallow breathing that he was worried. Although it was not the normal course of events for a mouse to address the king of the jungle, the mouse was clever and keen to be of service to such a powerful potential ally. Swallowing hard and taking his courage in both hands, he asked the lion what he was so worried about.

In his anguish, the lion did not even question this blatant disregard for his status and gladly confided in the little rodent.

The mouse was a caring and sympathetic character and listened intently as the lion explained his dilemma. It was not a problem he had, or was ever likely to encounter, but he understood the principles involved; pride and the fear of rejection by his peers; and the mouse decided to look for a way to help the lion.

He realised the lion might have trouble accepting advice from such a lowly creature, so he invented a story about another lion who had faced a similar situation and of course been successful.

The lion listened carefully and the wisdom of the mouse’s words was not lost on him. Through his tale of a fellow, mighty and revered lion, the mouse suggested that the lion might overcome his problem of how to eat an elephant, by simply breaking the elephant into smaller pieces first.

The lion, buoyed up by this tale and now convinced of his own impending success, set out on his quest.

He soon managed to secure his prey and following the advice of the mouse, quickly accomplished all the tasks he’d been set.

The lion became very famous in his jungle and the head of a great pride.

The little mouse for his part, became a great friend and trusted confidante of the lion, which meant guaranteed protection for the rest of his life and respect from all the other animals. As in all good stories, they all lived happily ever after. Apart, I suppose, from the elephant!

Ever since I first heard that story, I’ve literally broken tasks down in my mind into ‘bites of the elephant’ and retold the story many times over to friends and my children. The story of how to eat an elephant still makes me smile now!

So, if you feel like you’ve been treading water, and that now is the time to take charge of your life and begin to achieve the things that you really want, then you will find that this book is exactly what you need to get started now.

Why It’s Useful to Know How to Eat an Elephant

If you are wondering what use it might be to you to think about how to eat an elephant, just think back to a time when you were faced with what seemed like a huge task and experienced a feeling of overwhelm or maybe even defeat or despair.

The enormity of what lay ahead seemed so impossible and perhaps you had the added pressure of a deadline to contend with.

In that moment, it’s hard to see how you will ever manage isn’t it…

At that moment you are so close to the elephant, that all you can see is leathery grey skin!

But, fast forward a bit and you will probably recall that you did get done what you needed to and if so, then if you retrace the steps you took in your mind, from overwhelm to successful completion, you’ll probably be able to pick out some key milestones, events and things you did to get you there. These are the bites you took! The stages you followed when you needed to know how to eat an elephant!

So you already know how to eat an elephant when under pressure or overwhelmed. Wouldn’t it be great to employ this success strategy without the need to go through those negative emotions first?

Learning How to Eat an Elephant, One Bite at a Time

How-to-eat-an elephant

If you can remember a time when you managed to achieve something that at first seemed too enormous to contemplate, then you already know how to eat an elephant one bite at a time. The trick is making this a habit rather than a last minute stress response.

Creating good habits is easy, it’s just a question of practice!

All you need to do to eat an elephant is do it on purpose, with intent, over and over again until it’s your natural response to a challenge. Like changing a belief, it just takes repetition.

Quick steps to show you how to eat an elephant

  1. Think about the successful completion of the task and keep that in your mind
  2. Take a step back from the elephant so that you can take it all in
  3. Walk around it, sizing it up and carving it up into more manageable chunks in your mind
  4. Plan out the most logical order in which to tackle the chunks – avoid the temptation to just start with the tastiest bits!
  5. Start! Don’t put it off or you’ll just add more pressure to yourself
  6. Take it one bite at a time, proceeding logically and methodically through the steps
  7. Don’t skip steps
  8. Enjoy the steps, knowing that each one is one closer to the successful conclusion
  9. Keep going until you’ve finished

 Remember the easiest way how to eat an elephant is simply…One Bite at a Time!

I hope you enjoyed this little metaphor. I really do think about how to eat an elephant when faced with something that seems daunting. Perhaps you will now too!

Do you have a strategy that you use when you need to know

    how to eat an elephant

? If so, please share in the comments below!

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